You have managed to get her right where you want her. You have pulled all of the right stops, and now she is lying in your bed. You are having sex, and all is right with the world. Nothing could possibly ruin this moment.
Or could it?
Unfortunately, there are quite a few things that could ruin sex for you. Are you aware of them all? Let’s be a buzz kill and list some for you. Well, you could lose your boner, your partner could pass out or get sick, or you could say the wrong thing in the heat of the moment.
Fortunately for you, we want to guarantee that you have the best sex possible. So, let’s talk about ways that you can avoid a sex blunder, shall we? For the first and second issues, the answer is simple.
Don’t drink too much, and take some additional help for your boner if needed. Side note: be sure to stay tuned for our recommendations for boner help later in the article.
Out of all of these awful scenarios, the one thing you are most likely able to stop from happening is saying something completely idiotic. To help check that you do not fall prey to this happening, let’s list some of the stupidest things guys have ever said during sex. We suggest you take notes.
1. “Is It In Yet?”
Or, perhaps the better rendition of this line is from the renowned movie Superbad when the one character boasts, “It’s in,” as he penetrates his partner. This line can ruin things just as they get started. In a survey of women, this line was proven to be one of the worst sex destroyers out there. Guys, even if you are thinking this one, do yourself a favor and simply don’t let it be known.
What’s Wrong With Saying This
For starters, it completely lets the cat out of the bag. After all, if you’re saying this, then that means you think you have a small penis. Not only that, but this also makes it look like you are not exactly qualified in the bedroom.
Well, women do not want someone who is overly experienced in the bedroom. However, they certainly don’t want someone who has to brush the dust off their penis and wonder if it’s functioning correctly.
At least this little verbal mishap makes it seem as though you are exciting that you are having sex. This next line, not so much.
2. “Let’s Just Get This Over With.”
Any woman who hears you utter this line will not only stop having sex with you in an instant, but you just might receive a left hook to match.
We are not exactly sure why anyone would say this. Okay, let’s pretend for a minute that maybe there’s one excuse.
Maybe you are in a long relationship and you have become too comfortable with your partner. That’s the only semi-almost-appropriate instance we can think of for this occurrence. However, even still, it’s simply not okay.
What’s Wrong With Saying This
In case you weren’t aware, saying this implies that you don’t really want to have sex. In other words, you feel like it’s an obligation you want to get through, instead. This line makes it seem as though there are at least a hundred other things you would rather be doing than your partner. The chances are good that your partner will be completely offended at the utterance of this phrase. The chances are even better that you are likely to never have chance of having sex with this person ever again.
We totally understand the desire for a quickie. Yet, this line is not, and we repeat, not the way to have a quickie. Perhaps you could try something like, “Hey babe let’s see how quick you can get me off,” or, “I want to make you come so badly,” which is sure to have her get hers, so that you can get yours. We highly advise that you only attempt these alternative lines if you are in a committed relationship. They are likely to not hold up with a one-night stand or a first encounter.
3. “Whoa, Let’s High Five.”
This one might be tempting for all of those jokesters and pranksters out there who have gotten by in life being the laughing stock of the room.
However, once you say this during sex, the only person who will be laughing will be the girl that you were having sex with as she walks out the door.
Chances are she will walk right out and tell everyone about your little joke, which will ruin your chances of ever having sex again tenfold. In fact, you have a better probability of having sex saying tenfold, than you do asking for a high five.
What’s Wrong With Saying This
Okay, so maybe you think you are being funny or cute, but you are not. This line makes you look like you are that silly little frat boy who has had one too many. No woman wants to have sex with this kind of guy. You are a grown man, so act like it. Stop high fiving in general, and especially while you are having sex.
4. “That’s It?”
Yikes. We are afraid that if we even have to go here that you won’t figure out what exactly is wrong with this line. This is because the only type of guy who would ever say a line like this is an egotistical narcissist who likely would rather be having sex with themselves.
What’s Wrong With Saying This
For anyone who does not possibly understand the problem with this line, it is the most offensive thing you can say to someone after sex. They trusted you and allowed themselves to become vulnerable. Turning around and saying something like this implies that you are not satisfied or impressed. Perhaps you meant to ask her if she wants to give it another go if you aren’t satisfied and want more.
5. Talking Like A Baby
5. Talking Like A BabyBaby talk has its place and time. Actually, scratch that. You should never talk like a baby, ever.
It is never socially acceptable to coo and aw at someone, baby or not. Therefore, it is especially not tolerable in the bedroom.
What’s Wrong With Saying This
This is an absolute mood killer. There is no chance for bringing it back after this one, either. We are talking ultimate; she is walking out the door thinking you are a psychopath mood killer. Maybe you just can’t help it. Perhaps you have an unusual knack for talking like a baby when you think something is cute, like a puppy for example.
However, do us all a favor and do your extremely best to not treat your sexy Adonis like a puppy. We don’t really think she will appreciate it or find it pretty cute.
6. “Can You Grab My Phone For Me?”
6. “Can You Grab My Phone For Me?”We get it. Everyone is addicted to their phones in this day and age.You can walk into any public area and find practically the entire room on their phones, even those who are clearly there with someone else.
However, if there is one place where you should put the phone on silent and hold your calls, it’s the bedroom.
What’s Wrong With Saying This
What could possibly be better than having sex? That’s right. Nothing. Answering your phone during sex implies that something is more important than what, or who, you are doing at the only moment. If it is absolutely pressing and it has to be answered, then be sure to prompt your partner first before you have sex.
It is understandable if its spontaneous, impromptu sex you are having and the business call can’t wait. However, make it quite clear to your partner that you had to answer that call. We imagine that you can think of a few ways to express your sincere apologies.
7. “How Much Longer?”
Ah, the sexual version of, “Are we there yet?” Just as it’s annoying when your five year old nephew does this in the car, your partner will not appreciate it very much either.
Think about the pressure that you are adding by uttering this phrase. As if it’s not enough pressure to finish every time, you have now made your partner even more self-conscious of their performance.
What’s Wrong With Saying This
There are a few things wrong with saying something like this during sex. First of all, it implies that you are in a hurry. Like you could possibly have something better to do than the person you’re doing right now. Secondly, you are basically asking if they will be able to orgasm or not. We would imagine that they want to. So, maybe you should up your performance and make that happen for them.
8. “Hang On, It’ll Get Hard Again”
Definitely, there are a few reasons why you might go soft during sex. However, it is certainly detrimental to your partner’s self-confidence.
To make matters worse, this phrase is usually followed by a half assed attempt to turn yourself back on by rubbing your penis viciously to try and make it hard again.
Side note: this usually never works and only causes everyone involved to feel frustrated.
What’s Wrong With Saying This
Any woman will feel as though she is not attractive enough for you to maintain your hard on. Thus, she will take it personally. In order to avoid something like this from happening, purchase a reputable penis enlargement supplement from a company like www.BuyExtenze.com. This effective supplement will assure your boner is impressive every time.
Most definitely, some sexual mishaps are unavoidable. However, making certain you don’t say something stupid is virtually avoidable every single time. When in doubt, just moan, tell her how good it is, and enjoy yourself with your mouth shut. You are having sex after all, so try not to blow it by saying something mindless.