Marriage is more than just love. It takes a great deal of patience, understanding and acceptance to be happily married with your spouse. Inside all that is also the sex. Of course, marriage is not called the “union of man and woman” for nothing. From the beginning of time, sex is a basic necessity for a marriage to work. Now, there are many ways sex can affect a marriage.
Too much sex could mean too much physical action and lack of communication. Lack of sex could lead to lack of romance, lack of physical contact, lack of communication and eventually, lack of emotion towards your partner. The culprit: The monotonous daily routines you have at home that divert your attention from sex, and make you think that it’s okay to not have sex with your spouse.
No matter how old you may be or how long you may be married, sex should still be an active and regular part of your schedule. It does not have to become a responsibility. Sex should be surprising and there should always be something new to learn with your partner. Here are 12 steps to bring fresh sex back to your good old spouse.
1. Save The Date
Most marriages that fall out happen because one does not have time for the other anymore.
Spending time with your spouse is important to make your marriage work. Sex is important to keep the fire burning in your romance. Sometimes, even a simple and small date could already be so hard to make time for.
Maybe because you are too busy with work or maybe because you know your spouse will still be there no matter what. Don’t be too complacent. Go on out dates like you used to when you were younger. If needed, set a schedule and save a date to do that.
2. Talk More Often
Often times, sexless marriages start from a lack of communication and openness with each other. There are even cases where you don’t know what’s going on with your spouse lately. How has she been? What’s going on with her career? Things that you should know since you are living in one roof. The little things you need to know can make a big impact on your marriage.
Communication is important to make a marriage to work and to bring back the romance. Letting your spouse know your thoughts and your emotions is one way to keep the momentum of your romance, knowing that you know what’s going on in each other’s heads.
3. Add Some Sexy Talk
Talking is good, but it will not bring sexy back in the bedroom. If you want to spice things up a bit, add some dirty and sexy talk to your normal conversation.
Want to play with these sexy conversations even more? Try dirty talking to her when you both have absolutely nothing to do about it. Like when you’re both at work, send her a sexy text of what you plan to do to her tonight.
Aren’t into sexting? Send a sweet message of love and caring to let her know she’s on your mind. Simple things like these can get you both hot and bothered and you can be sure that you will both be rushing to get home to each other’s arms every day.
4. De-stress Together
Stress can be a major cause of a no-sex marriage. With all the stress that you go through – at work, with the family, with the kids and other factors – you can easily feel fatigued, which can affect your physical state in sex.
You can also be easily irritated or emotionally sensitive, which will also affect your psychological view towards sex.
If you think that you are both stressed out and this is what is hindering your sex life, try de-stressing together. Go to a spa or massage together to release that stress and tension that is stopping you from making love to your spouse.
5. Do More Things Together
Your lack of time for each other mostly spring from the fact that you do stuff differently. You don’t share your experience and you have separate things to do to pass the time. This is where most marriages start to fall out.
First, you don’t share your pastimes, next, you don’t share your experiences, the sex drops off to zero, until you get to a time when you don’t share anything at all.
Do stuff together. Find a common hobby, or create one. A physical hobby would be better. Sex could be good. Other hobbies can also be great like hiking, biking or even just jogging together. You’ll be surprised how staying fit can also increase your bedroom escapades.
6. Be More Touchy
Romance can spark from even just the slightest touch of your skin. How much more to you and your spouse, when you both know every single detail of each other’s body and where each one is ticklish or sensitive? Take for example if you have a busy day at home, cleaning around the house, fixing the furniture and chores like that. As you pass by each other, try reaching out and touching that sensitive part of her side.
While your hands are both full, kiss her cheek or her neck just to let her know that you yearn for her touch and her body. You can be guaranteed that by the end of the day, your touch will escalate to something more romantic.
7. Dress To Impress
Couples get bored in the bedroom because of the lack of sexiness and effort from their spouse.
Sometimes, all you need is a little lingerie show to get your hotness going. If spicing things up in the bedroom is what you need, then you need to go with every detail.
That includes dressing to impress. If you like your wife in her sexy lingerie, she would also appreciate if you dress up and fool around with costumes a little.
8. The Magic Of A Kiss
Kisses are romantic, and romance can start from a single kiss. Sometimes, sex becomes tedious because it’s all about the sex and nothing on romance anymore. Kissing releases sex hormones for both male and female and this means it can drive you urges for sex. The more you kiss, the more you will feel hungry for sex. Kiss your spouse all the time to send a message – that you love her and that you want to have sex with her.
9. Try Out New Things Together
When things get tedious in the bedroom, it could only mean that you are both worn-out with the same old routine over and over.
It may be time to try out something new, just to keep things interesting. Trying out something new will send her a message that hey, you want to keep the fire burning in your marriage.
You can try out new positions or add some sex toys in the picture. You can even try doing it on other parts of the house to build the excitement. Anything that you can think of to make things interesting again.
10. Try Some Role Playing
It’s never too late to try out role playing in the bedroom. Sometimes, you lose interest in sex with your spouse because everything is already too familiar. Which is why it is good to splash in some new stuff or new roles to keep your interest piqued. Here’s a tip: talk about what roles you want to do. It would work great to add in some props too, like handcuffs or whips. Don’t be shy to play the role. Once you get the hang of role playing and enjoy doing it often, you’ll be guaranteed to have more sex.
11. Make It Like A Game
Here’s a cool tip to keep your normal days interesting. For example you are watching a game. Make a bet with your spouse on who wins the game. Stakes are who would be on top or who will give oral sex. Set a deadline for your bets. This should be a fun and healthy way of making your sex life active again. You also get to bond with your spouse more often, because you will both want to see who really wins.
12. Just Have Sex
No questions asked. No holds barred. If you feel the urge to have sex with your spouse, just do it. You are married; you are legally able to have sex anytime of the day. You don’t need to prep up.
Your spouse knows every inch of your body from head to toe, and it’s the same thing for you. So, if you feel like making love to your wife, by all means just do it.
It’s not uncommon for some marriages to have a monotonous routine. This is what you have become acquainted and comfortable with. This is what works and you have made it your comfort zone. What you fail to comprehend is no matter how much you think that everything is working good,
it slowly eats up your marriage until you have nothing left but a sexless, quiet companionship with your spouse. Don’t let it get to that. After all, sex is good and you can both benefit from it. So why stop something good? Make sex an active part of your routine and keep surprising your spouse and yourself.